Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
