dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
