Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
