Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
