Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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