We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
