We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
