I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
