We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
