If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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