Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
