12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
