Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
