is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
