I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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