Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
