Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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