It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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