i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize