He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
