My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
