don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
