our cab driver is having phone sex.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
