There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
