My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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