puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
