I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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