On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
where does the pee come out of this thing
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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