just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
