it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
