I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
