Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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