Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.