so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
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Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!