They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power