Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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