it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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