so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
