Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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