i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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