we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
