White coat. Heels.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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