im about as happy as oj after his trial
Barsexuality is the new black.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
