Yo dont text me then not text me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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