In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
