is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize