I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he high fived his dick after we had sex
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
