WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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