Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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