new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
