my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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