I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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