I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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