Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize