i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
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Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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