Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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