He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
